I am back to "normal" life. I have started my routine again and am back to my regular workouts. But something in me has changed since my fathers death and that is the effort I put into my workout.
Yes, I showed up everyday and I would sweat everyday but was I truly trying my hardest? If I had been trying my hardest since day one of trying to lose weight when I was 12 years old I wouldn't be writing this blog. But here I am.
My concentration levels are higher than ever for my workouts because I want to be fit and strong. I want to be the person I told my dad I was becoming. I am no longer doing this for just me. I need to do this for my family so that I can stay around a little longer.
I have only worked out Mon and Tues, but currently those two workouts I tried so hard that I can barely walk up the stairs to my apartment. But I am okay with that. And this picture just allows me to see that I don't have to be perfect and the only person to measure myself against is me. As long as I am trying my hardest in every aspect then I can't do any better.
I may never win a race, or bench press the most in the gym, but those aren't my goals. My goals are only for me and set against myself. I have to keep remembering that and not looking at what is going on around me. I can't keep trying to compete with others at the gym. I do that; I challenge myself by setting goals trying to beat others around me and that isn't trying my hardest it is trying their hardest. I need to focus just on myself and my current workout for that day. Because if I let my mind wonder, and my imagination roam I am no longer trying my hardest I am just doing the actions.
My fitness and food deserve 100% of my attention and I have to remember that the reason I am in the situation I am in is because I never held them to a priority. I would let my mind wonder!
This week I am trying harder, next week it will be even harder.
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