Spring Cleaning

So here I am. Beginning again. I have recently been trying to lose weight and mostly it is because I am getting married this year.

With all my soul searching and calorie counting I have come to some conclusions.

Losing weight is NOT: 

Easy

Fast

Just about working out

Just about eating

An easy fix 

Losing weight IS:

Hard

Tiring

Mentally Draining

Its Frustrating

Is the most rewarding feeling

Is a lifestyle change

I recently got my stuff from my parents house, the reward of moving out! I found all my old journals and decided that it would be a fun thing to read through them with Mr. Right. While reading through them he came to a surprising discovery. I have been writing about my weight either by how its affecting me, on a goal sheet to lose it, or how if I did lose it all my problems would be solved, since I was 11. That's right for over 12 years over and over again I have new year resolutions for losing weight. 

While looking back I did not in fact lose any weight. I have gained some becoming comfortable with Mr. Right. But now I am DETERMINED to lose it. So far it is the hardest thing I have done, and it takes 100% of my focus 100% of the day. 

Now its a weighting game to see if I can finally accomplish my goal. Not for my wedding, not for my family, not for Mr. but for ME. This year I am going to be selfish. This year it is about ME.