THE LONELY
Christina Perri
2am; where do I begin,
Crying off my face again.
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
Too afraid to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night.
But the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me til I fall asleep.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me and the lonely.
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
This is the song that I keep running back to. It makes sense to me right now. I am the only one traveling the path that I am on...and so I am the only one that I have to be with.
I started Graduate School in January and I love it, but it is a completely different world! I am the only one in my group of friends back in school and I am not sure how I feel about that...I am still working through that. I have made some friends in school but after recent events I don't know who or how I can trust. I wonder how one can trust after things are thrown in their face time and time again, but I think it comes down to faith in yourself and faith in the other person.
I have figured out in the recent weeks that I had replaced a previous (detrimental) habit with food. I never worked through those feelings of inadequacy and poor ability to forgive myself. I used to have a horrible habit that, luckily, I stopped doing, but I feel like I replaced it with food and I don't feel that food is better. I have been thinking about it lately and I feel that food is worse....they both leave scars, they both fill a void for awhile, but both end up making you feel even WORSE about yourself.
After the last couple of weeks I have wanted to skip the food and go straight to old habits, and this surprised me and got me thinking.
I can lose all the weight in the world, I can look like a million dollars, but that won't give me the ability to forgive myself, to let things go, to not feel inadequate.
Someone once told me that it comes down to self-control...if that was the case then I think a lot more people would not be in the boat that I am. I understand that yes self-control is a HUGE piece of it, but I don't know how to get to the self-control I need without fixing all the pieces of me laying on the floor in front of me.
I am shattered person with pieces laying all around...I wish there was someone that could put me back together, but humpty dumpty couldn't be put together.....
So here I am again...for the bazillionth time...
I can't tell you how many times I have began again...I do know that looking back in life I had journal entries at 10yrs old wishing that I would lose weight...
10 YEARS - That's a problem!
Christina Perri
2am; where do I begin,
Crying off my face again.
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
Too afraid to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night.
But the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me til I fall asleep.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me and the lonely.
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
This is the song that I keep running back to. It makes sense to me right now. I am the only one traveling the path that I am on...and so I am the only one that I have to be with.
I started Graduate School in January and I love it, but it is a completely different world! I am the only one in my group of friends back in school and I am not sure how I feel about that...I am still working through that. I have made some friends in school but after recent events I don't know who or how I can trust. I wonder how one can trust after things are thrown in their face time and time again, but I think it comes down to faith in yourself and faith in the other person.
I have figured out in the recent weeks that I had replaced a previous (detrimental) habit with food. I never worked through those feelings of inadequacy and poor ability to forgive myself. I used to have a horrible habit that, luckily, I stopped doing, but I feel like I replaced it with food and I don't feel that food is better. I have been thinking about it lately and I feel that food is worse....they both leave scars, they both fill a void for awhile, but both end up making you feel even WORSE about yourself.
After the last couple of weeks I have wanted to skip the food and go straight to old habits, and this surprised me and got me thinking.
I can lose all the weight in the world, I can look like a million dollars, but that won't give me the ability to forgive myself, to let things go, to not feel inadequate.
Someone once told me that it comes down to self-control...if that was the case then I think a lot more people would not be in the boat that I am. I understand that yes self-control is a HUGE piece of it, but I don't know how to get to the self-control I need without fixing all the pieces of me laying on the floor in front of me.
I am shattered person with pieces laying all around...I wish there was someone that could put me back together, but humpty dumpty couldn't be put together.....
So here I am again...for the bazillionth time...
I can't tell you how many times I have began again...I do know that looking back in life I had journal entries at 10yrs old wishing that I would lose weight...
10 YEARS - That's a problem!
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